Wealth to
2008-12-10
A drunk
However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time "Never mind," the drunk said with a hiccup, "I got in the back seat by mistake."
all in here
MARRIAGE
Hillarys Bird
Well, I want him, she said.
Suit yourself, the manager shrugged. When Hillary got the parrot back to the White House, she uncovered his cage and admired the bird. The parrot tilted his head to one side, looked her straight in the eye and said, New house, new madam.
Hillary laughed.
Soon, Chelsea and a friend came in and began admiring the bird. New house, new whores, the parrot observed.
Hillary explained the birds history to Chelsea and her friend, so they too, laughed.
Later, the President entered the living quarters.
The parrot took one look at him and said, Hi, Bill!
The doctor lives downstairs
He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist---the doctor lives downstairs."
Logic Reasoning
"Here is the situation," she said. "a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yellin
g for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?"
A girl raised her hand and asked, "to draw out all of his savings?"
Where is the father?
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
Thank-you Note
But the teacher cried
When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door.
"Was school all right?" she asked, "Did you get along all right? did you cry?"
"Cry?" John asked. "No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!"
2008-12-09
Does the dog know the proverb, too?
"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"
"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"
The poor husband
I Wasn't Asleep
When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!"
"I wasn't asleep," the man answered.
"Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed."
"I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car."